Today I’ll share with you three things I’ve learned in marriage. And if you stick around to read the rest of this post, I’ll share how you can discover more about your mate.
As you may know, I have now been married twice. My first spouse went to Heaven over 2 years ago. However, as someone who believes in the covenant of marriage, I trusted the Lord for another wife, and here I find myself married again and very happy with my decision.
Let’s get straight to it. Marriage is defined biblically as the union between a man and a woman, and though various governments may have redefined its meaning, the biblical and spiritual truths don’t change.
Seek to understand your mate
So, this leads us to the first lesson in marriage which is: Seek to understand your mate before you seek to be understood. This simply means you should learn to understand your spouse’s feelings and ways of operating. This is a loaded sentence of course!
And, if you’re a man reading this, you’re probably thinking I must be crazy to say this, but it’s true. Men, you need to deal with your wife according to knowledge. Learn what makes her tick and what doesn’t.
You have a tough job, I get it, but the rewards are great if you do it well.
Women, this applies to you too. Learn your husband's ways, what works for him and what doesn't. After all, it is a two-way street!
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Set expectations early on
Second, set expectations early on. Before I married my first wife, Yadira, we read some books together and did some exercises to prepare us for marriage.
Specifically, we discussed what our expectations were and how we would move forward as we brought children into our matrimony. We talked about what was acceptable and what wasn’t.
This goes on and on in the marriage as you sometimes have to remind each other what you expect. This will save you from a number of frustrations along the way.
Now, if you haven’t set expectations with each other, it’s not too late to have such conversations on an ongoing basis instead of blowing up when your expectations aren’t met.
Enjoy your marriage
Third lesson I’ve learned is you must enjoy your marriage. This means you must make time to enjoy each other’s company. Don’t just work and work and work.
I’ve been guilty of this many times, but one thing I’ve built into every marriage has worked wonders. Friday night dates! One-on-one time is key, but if you can’t do it alone, still find time when you can enjoy yourselves.
Right now I go on morning walks with my wife, and we do Friday night dates, and have fun other ways, and are discussing different fun things we can do together.
How about you? What are you learning in your marriage? Where are the impasses? Are you making time to hear each other out? Are you blowing up constantly? What is working out for you? Feel free to comment below.
As I’m 3 months into my new marriage I am still learning a lot about my spouse, what things she likes and dislikes and her ideas. I’m open about my vision for our family and expectations too, but we’re having fun along the way.
Now there’s a lot more we could have covered but for that you'd need a book. I’m thinking of sharing more in an upcoming post. For now, if you’d like to find out more on knowing your mate, Jocelyn and I started working a book before our marriage which will go out end of this year.
You can click here to pre-order your copy of “So You Think You Know Your Mate?” A simple title, right? We will make you laugh while helping you add some good boundaries in your marriage to prevent the blow ups.
Last, if you have yet to find your mate, (I've trusted God twice in this process), and would like to trust God to walk you through your process, you can click here to check out my other upcoming book, “Five Proven Spiritual Secrets To Help Identify Your Mate Now.”
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